Before you call bullshit, hear me out. The studies are out there: by the third date, twenty percent of men say they have fallen in love, as opposed to fifteen percent of women. Other studies have determined that men have a far less practical view of love, and feel that if two people truly love each other, they should have little trouble working out a marriage. The list goes on and on: Women are almost twice as likely to initiate a breakup, men tend to be more lonely and depressed after a break and are three times more likely to commit suicide due to a breakup, etc. In fact, when polled about who they loved most, men were overwhelmingly more likely to list their lover in the #1 spot as opposed to friends, family, or children.

Why? Well, one young lady suggested to me that it is because men are less likely to get satisfaction from non-exclusive intimate relationships, and that seems to be a plausible explanation to me.

I saw a picture of a lesbian woman holding a poster the other day that said "Thirty percent of women killed are murdered by their boyfriend or husband." My first thought was, "That number really isn't all that impressive; why would she make a poster?," but I am almost ashamed to say that after reading the above statistics, my second thought was, "What did they do that caused their boyfriend or husband to do such a thing?" While I do not believe that a person would ever deserve to be on the receiving end of such a crime, I don't think I ever would have thought such a thing years ago when I was still a "love-idealist."

I would like to consider myself as being somewhere in the middle between idealist and realist. I do believe in concepts like the soul mate, but rather than being predestined, I believe the soul mate must be sought after and worked for, and that the soul mate can be lost if the relationship is not handled properly. I believe that a couple can be passionately in love for a lifetime if both partners put effort into fueling the fire. Maybe some would say I am still too much of an idealist.

I am personally going through a difficult time in my relationship (or lack there-of). My lover has decided that it is necessary for us to take a break while she works through the miniature quarter-life-crisis she has having. Intellectually, I can see where she is coming from, but as an idealistically romantic male, the process has been very emotionally difficult. I want to believe that such crises can be handled within the relationship, with one partner helping and encouraging the other. She believes we were being codependent. As a connoisseur of co-dependence, I cannot help but disagree, but alas, it takes two to keep a relationship going, and it only takes one to end it. I love her so much. I really wish I had not read those statistics, because they only serve to increase my skepticism. I really hope that things work out for us.

if I am not making another blog that is destined for neglect and failure. I would probably be underestimating if I said I have tried to maintain a blog over twenty times. I would probably be overestimating if I said that the longest I have ever maintained one is three months. But here I am, once again, punching keys and tossing around ideas in my head for what direction I want to take this. A friend told me that because of the community here, people actually read each others' blogs- perhaps that will motivate me to keep it updated. It is still difficult, however, not to be pessimistic.

So here it is. My first post. Bask in its half-empty glory for now, because there may not be a next time :).